The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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