Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
