I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
