hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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