Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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