By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
