So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Please don't give away my fajitas
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