Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
