There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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