Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I want to have your abortion
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
