I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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