guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
