If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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