you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
