you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Is it because I queefed?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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