dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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