turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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