i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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