Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
