I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
