i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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