is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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