winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
