"it" just moved
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
