When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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