brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
