Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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