my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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