Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
