good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
