Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
