I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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