my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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