Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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