She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
