you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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