Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
