I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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