went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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