I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm like, not good at living.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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