my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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