I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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