It's like God shit irony all over that family
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
