Do vagina's smell?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
