Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
