1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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