I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
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