We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
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She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
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I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
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