good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I currently don't understand fingers.
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