Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
