if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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