we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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