At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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