Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
