I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
