The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
