Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
