It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
