i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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