I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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