My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
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If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize