My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
