I love black thongs
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
my poor anus
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
